Did you realize I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), and after that use the flash films/games as being the icing about the teenage-annoyance cake. And once the editor pushed #1 Diep.io – #1 Play Diep.io Game Online if you ask me, I used to be suspicious.
In the beginning, I assumed to inquire about: “How did you know I accustomed to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not only, basically if i was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to track down younger me but, basically if i was right, he would know I found myself on the bastard. Then a editor would foil living plans by occasionally whispering in my ear: “hey, keep this in mind gem of a Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little self-esteem I have left.
Like most narratives, I used to be asked who’s tale it was. So, one splash of water around the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but instead just asking me my name. Although, noticing this is an online multiplayer title, I was thinking I’d hide how I’d be examining this game by using a critical eye within my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, similar to most free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io commences with a whisper. You are a runt, the foot of a pile, within a bad world attempting to shoot you at the back of your head. Or possibly a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes along with other tanks. Thus I did the obvious thing: I blew with the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging each of the circle with names upon them. Yes, the aesthetic might be recreated with MS Paint and one and only thing that may be missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me the option of upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. An issue that became immediately obvious was that in case I planned to reside more than a youngster in the paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i would be required to pick regen at some point. Without one, I might be worn down over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled past the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked generally if i wanted a piece of equipment-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or so as to shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly such as a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the sort of simpleton to experience as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, from the fear of confusion otherwise, I went with the assault rifle option on my tank.
In the end, like the majority of things, my time with Diep.io stumbled on a stop as i began picking fights with many other players. Despite the greatest damage output I could possibly muster, the most speed, a sizable regen pool, and more health than I knew what to do with, other players were quickly capable of put me in my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside with an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.